Toya’s Neighborhood

thoughts

been awhile since I've written my thoughts down.... seems about time. seems to help. i cant believe how fast time goes. should have listened to all my adult acquaintances i had as a child. it is kind of scary though.... u know? but exciting in itself. i feel like im in a really good place right now. even though, i must say, arkansas is fucking weird, and i hope to end back in north carolina when its all said and done. anywho, i seem to be with the right one. at least, it feels that way. sometimes i sweat the small stuff, and have to remind myself not to take it all for granted. he really does care, and loves me.... weird to think how far we've come since the beginning... but also, i always knew it was meant to be one of the greats, the greatest. i knew that's what i deserved, and i got it :) and that i'm thankful for i still feel like i deserve it. been thinking alot more about getting married lately. the one thing that scared me into oblivion just a while ago. somehow seems more realistic. its good to know, that with all the loss i've experienced in my family, i could have somebody else there... that understands and loves it all. ive come to accept that i'll always have these emotional hills i'll have to get over through life. it's how i was shaped, and can't run away from it all. i had a almost scary realistic dream about my mother the other night. we were just hanging out... talking. that was all. i swear i could almost touch her. and by the end of it all, she had turned into my dad... morphed. odd, but very symbolic. it still hurts to know that it was only a dream. i want to go back sometimes, rewind to age 5 and start all over again. but then... i fear i'd lose out on some of the things i've gotten to experience so far. family is so important. henson is about to have his own child..... how amazing is that. i cant wait to be there for that child. i'm excited... i want to be there as much as i can, buy him clothes, help him read, everything... if henson and diana allow, that is. ;) i know i still have a lot of learning to do myself, but i know i will love that kid with all my heart. if he's anything like henson, he'll be a great man. i know mom and dad would be so excited. "always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name"

Avett Brothers - Murder in the City

The great outdoors

Do you ever walk outside, in overgrown grass or along a lazy river and feel at home? A sense of comfort? I'm not sure if it's just me, or if everyone has some special connection with Mother Nature, but there are some days that I walk out my front door, take a deep breath, and suddenly feel better about everything in life. It reminds me of the "safe" feeling I used to get when I was younger and in my parent's care. Something about summer heat and the idea of roughing it and going camping seems to thrill me. God, I haven't been camping since I was in my first scary year of middle school. I need to go again, reconnect. I think it might bring some sort of peace to my mind. It's strange the things that will do that for people.

What are your best camping stories? Or hiking or ... anything outdoors? That's my QotD for you :).

How do you Know? QoTd

So here's my own little question of the day...

For those of you that are married, and have been for awhile... and are happy.... and don't cheat on each other, and other horrible things I constantly see in other marriages... (the reason why i'm so afraid of them)

How do you know when you're ready to marry somebody?

And what makes it work?

Very curious

the muse.

omg. i haven't found a song that makes me cringe in delight in so long.

plz listen to this song, and download more.

omg. sexy

muse - feeling good

QotD: April Fools' Day

What's the best April Fools' Day prank you've witnessed today?

Sadly, I'm never the one who sees other people getting pranked, because I'm the one that everyone usually plays the tricks on!!! Two of the best years were...

1. When I was like 16, I was working at this BBQ Restaurant in Asheville. I had just gotten my license and my dad let me take his new car to work. So I was flying high. Well, my buddy decided to take my keys and move my dad's car out of sight, so when I was ready to leave, I about had a heartattack thinking that someone stole my dad's car!!!!! That mother fucker let me walk around for like 5 minutes before deciding to tell me "april fools!"

2. The second greatest is when Connie got my boss at Sonic to pull me aside and tell me I was fired because "my personality didn't clique with the rest of the workers." I flat out cried on this one, and they were still laughing.

I hate april fools.

omfg old blogspot

So, I might have totally already posted a link to my old blogspot account, but I just found the sucker again, and I got all excited. Posts for 2004?!?! craziness!!!!!

here's the link, if u wanna read

http://misjudi.blogspot.com/

heels + ecu campus + me = disaster

So, I don't think I shall ever wear high heels on campus b/c of the fact that I have gotten stuck a total of 3 times in some sort of crack or nature hole, and/ or lost my shoe.

Clumsy people just can't rock the high heels!